Sweetness and Joy come from the Lord.

Something to strive for, as a wife and soon to be mother.

To be sweet, kind, and gentle, to be as the bible says in James 1:19

"Know this my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to LISTEN,

slow to SPEAK, and slow to ANGER." But human nature makes that

very, very hard doesn't it? Selfishness and pride tell us to get angry first,

be overrun by emotions, yell and make sure everyone in a 10 foot span

knows how we feel, then and only then after you blow off all our frustration

do we calm down and listen to the ones we love the most. Our nature is

wicked in itself and unfortunately we end up hurting the ones closest to us

by allowing our emotions to control us.

So, there is our problem, but whats the solution? What can turn a selfish

heart into a heart that is full of joy and love for others? The only thing, the only

person able and willing to do such a miraculous thing is God himself. Through the

power of his spirit in our hearts changing us from selfish and bitter to selfless and

sweet. We must allow him to do so in order to love the ones around us, even the

unlovely people in our lives, remember sometimes we can be unlovely too. To be

more we must become less. Confused? Don't be, God has made it so simple, although

challenging because change is never easy, especially when our entire normality is at

hand. Luke 10:27 says, "And he answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your hear and with all your soul and with

all your strength and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself." Quite a challenge, we must love God and seek him

more than anything else, allowing him to fill us more and more with his word and his love for us, so that we can love him back and

love others with that very love that he first pours into our hearts. By us continually being in his presence we can grow to be more

like him. A mirror image of God, the one who is himself LOVE. 1 John 4:8 says, "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because

God is love." Without God we can not even KNOW what love is let alone share love with others. To be sweet, kind, and loving takes

knowing God and knowing Love. 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because he first loved us."

I want to know God more, know love more so my family and all those around me can experience his love too.

Sweetness and Joy truly do come from the Lord.

You keep making my heart new.

Ah, change. How I so often reject the workings of change! My plans, My ideas, MY heart.. and God continually takes them all, redirecting them day by day from what I thought was the perfect plan, to His Exceedingly Perfect Will. How I wish change was easy.. how I wish life sometimes was easy, ok all the time! But His grace is greater still.

* But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Paul goes on to say "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am STRONG. -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I so badly wish I had his attitude, knowing that on my own I can do nothing, and humbling myself, losing myself in fact and allowing God to change my heart. Proverbs 3:34 says that "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Honestly this shouldn't be new to me, and well it isn't in the sense of 'hearing it for the first time'. But this is more of an old lesson i'm still learning.. STILL! Just allowing my thoughts to become more like His, and my plans to become not mine at all but His and being used as a vessel, not at tank. Vessel meaning to allow a 'flow' rather than being a tank whose contents just remain still and unusable ( one not being hooked up to anything).

I've kind of been moping lately, maybe more than I would like to admit. And in no way is being pregnant an excuse to mop. Though my life my number one goal has always been to know God more, to read His word and understand it more, then to put into practice what I've learned to bring Him glory.. above all else. Great goal right! .. Yes of course and my heart was in the right place, but I was trying to obtain this goal by MY plans, MY dreams, and by MY strength. Unfortunately my heart was also just MINE. I hadn't humbled myself to Him to change that too. In not doing so I have allowed my own ambitions to govern my steps, stepping first then asking for God to make my ways like His.

Zechariah 4:6 says, "Then he said to me, "Thus is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel; Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts."

Hard to swallow isn't it. On my own, no matter how good my intentions, no matter how strong I may think I can be I'm simply running in circles on my own.

I am by admission SELFISH! I fail at life on my own..

BUT WAIT!... that is not the end. Thank you Lord!

Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. And Romans 8:30-32 says, "And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

So, enough. Enough trying to figure it all out on my own and then running in circles trying to go after the vision I thought was God's plan. I'm going to let Him in, more, far more!

By dying to myself I can walk out His plan from the beginning of time. The truly spectacular thing is that He knew, He knew I would struggle with letting go of all MY stuff.

He keeps making my heart new.

Allowing me to live and love like He does.

And although i'm not there yet, its not being perfect right away. But rather about the process, the journey, running into the arms of perfection knowing we are never enough, and remembering He loves us anyway.

He is unending.